missy panda

new year

2008-01-18T08:36:00.001-08:00

haha.... i read some of ur guys blog and realize u all update it still...kinda....well.... its so fast.... new year.... time really goes by u.... i didnt really realize it.... until i really took time to take a step back..... yea....its 08 year now....not 07.... have to change all e stupid writing in e nursing notes and blah blah.... i think i have been in e ward for like 6 months plus.... still like a baby...or rather like a idiot that knows nothing.....tats wat i feel.....im not really given much chance to do in charge previous fews months and now.....i heard alot of senior staff are leaving.....alot of new staff are coming in.... haiz.... so far....e new staff are alright.... but.... stupid JCIA is coming again..... and im like a idiot + plus an idiot which needs to give correct answers to auditors.... maybe im abit stressed..... not as e cool and relaxed christina everytime in school.....i heard my colleague telling me relax~ den im like yea..... it really hit me tat i was abit gan chiong trying to finish my things while there isnt really anyone ''senior'' to help me....and it waas really out of no where..... but like e ''seniors'' will help much anyway.... i really wanna break.... i need a break.... hell man....
i wonder if my bf gives me stress also.....im starting to think this way.....he has some expectations...being his gf...i would really really aim to kinda be perfect for him...its impossible....im crazy i know.... ihis is a never ending question.....so many things to ponder now.... but time to sleep somehow...tml is morning shift....cursed hospital......hate work....bleah....i got a feeling im in charge again.... F.....not a nice feeling.....dun like it when i never do a job well also.....which in charge i constantly feel so.....

working....

2007-12-01T07:20:00.000-08:00

bleah.....working sucks.... nothing much else to do other than meet bf..... working not very nice.... dun really like work or ppl there..... just wanna rest n slack..... dun feel like working.... feel like taking some easy job.... no worries.....

studying was so much of fun n slacking.....just love slacking..... nobody on top of u to scold u when lazy.....tats e difference of getting paid ba..... miss u guys.....
enjoying my time with my boy..... still alot of things i need to know about him n him about me..... i can say..... we have something very special in our relationship..... hope jian hao gathering will be sucessful... hee.... =]

went to thailand.....watched alot of stuff..... went to their zoo....tiger living together with pig and dog...their tiger cub drink pig milk and vice versa... e crocodile almost bite e fella head off.....they actually put their head n hand in the croc mouth.... saw e transvertite?spelling? show.....figure n skin damn nice man..... but e face alot ok only.....but there was a few super pretty ones.....wat 4 face buddha.... n more ba....their beach at pattaya was nice.....i mean at the coral island.....super clear n blue sea.....so nice corals.....just love their sea there.... tried water parachute, jet ski, walk underwater, den e 360 degree whirlwind? ride......
gotta go sleep le..... bye......

time to sweep my blog and add something

2007-10-05T08:00:00.000-07:00

=] its been long since i had any time to update my blog..... i almost forgot about its existance.... alot of things happening..... new work...i dun like my job.....seriously.....i dun know how long i can take this.....but its e same everywhere i guess....working under people.....stress.....getting scolded for nonsence.....being picked on little things tat had been SO OVER..... its not e workload, not e patients......its more of my supervisor and some colleague i guess...... its all so sickening...to show u r good in ur work, to gain favour, dun be annoying..... u know i cant be bothered to gain anyone's favour.....theres always some gossip about some staff in e ward.....backstabbing.... haha.....i hope i dun have any though......but...i think im hard to escape also ba....new staff....ppl tend to say more..... just dun let me know wat they say..... quite a few of my colleague also like dun wanna renew their contract....dun wanna stay here.....makes me feel more like leaving....haha....

both sisters not very happy with me.....one of them even announced if like there was a need to transfer anyone out of this ward.....if i dun do as they say they most prob would recommend me.....hinting is me.....never say directly but.....she really pinpoint alot of things about me.....watever ba..... i dun really have e heart to bother.... its a nice ward to work in seriously.... much lesser workload than in nyp days..... but i still dun like it.....mostly....

I WANT MORE DAY OFFS.....one day per week is just too little.....sian.... thought of changing line.....but really have no idea of wat else to do which has a decent pay and working hours with my cert..... see how le ba....

Yeah!!!

2007-07-22T08:25:00.000-07:00

finally...after some time of assessment n more assessment....now more relaxed i guess....still honeymoon....wait til i go ward....hai...different....had me n my boy anniversary on 20...he had his ippt....he couldnt do sit up.....his back problem keeps haunting him n he got weak to e point his knees went weak during his run.....den he ended with bruises on his right knee..... so mostly we were just resting.....
the next day....we bought soccer(GAMBLE)....haha....yes...we won....at last together.... den we won back e money we put in e previous few rounds n additional....haha....enough to cover for my new shoes n shirt =]
tired liao.....tml got training....hope it all is well... hee.... i go off le bye bye

2007-07-07T19:30:00.000-07:00

Falling dreams

As with most common dream themes, falling is an indication of insecurities, instabilities, and anxieties. You are feeling overwhelmed and out of control in some situation in your waking life. This may reflect the way you feel in your relationship or in your work environment. You have lost your foothold and can not hang on or keep up with the hustle and bustle of daily life.?When you fall, there is nothing that you can hold on to. You more or less are forced toward this downward motion without any control. This lost of control may parallel a waking situation in your life. Falling dreams also often reflect a sense of failure or inferiority in some circumstance or situation. It may be the fear of failing in your job/school, loss of status, or failure in love.?You feel shameful and lack a sense of pride. You are unable to keep up with the status quo or that you don't measure up.

According to Freudian theory, dreams of falling indicate that you are contemplating giving into a sexual urge or impulse. You maybe lacking indiscretion.Falling dreams typically occur during the first stage of sleep. Dreams in this stage are often accompanied by muscle spasms of the arms, legs, and the whole body. These sudden contractions, also known as myclonic jerks. Sometimes when we have these falling dreams, we feel our whole body jerk or twitch and we awaken from this jerk. It is thought that this jerking action is part of an arousal mechanism that allows the sleeper to awaken and become quickly alert and responsive to possible threats in the environment.

According to biblical interpretations, dreams about falling have a negative overtone and suggest that man is acting and walking according to his own way of thinking and not those of the Lord.

Break-Up
To dream that you break up with your significant other, indicates that there is something in your life that you need to let go no matter how hard it may be.

these few days kelvin has been dreaming about breakup for 4-5 times..... while i have been dreaming about falling....not as much.... i found a webby showing the meaning of dreams which i found it quite interesting.....i was wondering y my dear keep dreaming of breaking up with me.... so....i guess.... it isnt something very bad after all? i dunno.... just weird....i remember also got some changes in life? i couldnt find it again for the break up....

yesterday was a sweet day.... had some time of our own at last ^_^ so fun~ after so many days of downs....lol.....yea....havent been too happy recently.....hope today will be e same or better...but now sadly...kelvin is in camp til 9 while i am free now..... later will need to study for theory test of pharmaco drugs tml.....still got alot of time to kill.... like 10 hours....sian.....now at his house using his com..... waiting for him to call me....=] waiting for his family to wake up and go for branch? breakfast n lunch le.... den i go home.... still enjoying my training.....relaxed still ba....=] july30 go back to ward.....stressed.... hope i dun die.....hahaha.....

dunno later wanna go gym or swim....so many ppl....quite sickening....i dun like crowds.... but wat to do? no money for private membership at any sports club will have to do this way le lo.... just avoid weekends.... hahaha.....lazy ppl excuse.... watever la..... think will be more motivated if my dear pei me go exercise....

i go off le.....

im tired...

2007-07-06T08:48:00.000-07:00

i am very down phyically....mentally....

i feel at a loss......

i cant seem to do anything much anymore.....

i dun like this feeling.....

can someone take this away from me?

i hate this sense of helplessness....

im lost in words..... lost in thought.....

tml i am going to work.... another long day....it seems tat we need to study for the nursing model in cgh or healthcare or dunno wat nursing care plan or bring bring notes.....

i just dunno anymore.....i have no mood for tat.....watever happens happens....

i dunno whether things will change..... i sure hope so for the better.....

in my own tears ~christina~

graduation tml.....

2007-07-04T07:46:00.000-07:00

tml is graduation day..... havent choose wat to wear yet.....havent check if uniform is not like crumpled or wat.....i hate having to bother about all these.... but i think....my parents will be nagging at me for e next few days if i really show up crumpled or weird.....so ya....i think i will spend some time looking at my stupid gown.....am i glad to be graduating? HELL YEA!!!! all e 3 years of dunno doing wat....to get my diploma..... will i miss nyp? NAH~ only frens ba..... but nothing from e school definitely.....

Today kelvin got his wisdom tooth stitches removed..... I heard from him tat there is still a big hole in all e tooth.... got a nut stuck inside n he seems to be unable to get it out.....hope nothing bad happens...

im just honestly just not feeling very happy now ba.... im not going to argue or pick on u..... just a hope tat i have.....a wish....i dun expect everything i wan to come true..... or else.....this wouldnt be reality isnt it kelvin?

first day of work

2007-07-02T08:49:00.000-07:00

got my new name tag today...yes....im a staff nurse...e thing i like about changi hospital attire..... is e shiny name tag n my white shoes.....hai.....was very dissapointed today....i saw e register.....im not in OT.....im in ward 26.....e HR told me about e change like today....confirmed de.....-_-'''....my mood really sian...cos....she really made it seem like i got in....cos for ot they only take 2 uniform but normal ward 3.....today she passed me e extra uniform so late minute..... everything changes so last minute.....sucks.....my mood really was not there to listen to anything they had in the many hours of lecture(8 i think).....e only comforting thing i could think of is..... i got a job at least..... and its a b1 ward if im not wrong(just private class).....not as back breaking as c class.....but i have no idea wat discipline tat is.....maybe still ok? i think? hai.....

sorry to yue ning not able to join u today.....finish quite late.....i thought u all would finish by the time i reached...cos i ended at 6 n needed to go home change first also.....

was down n bored out at e lecture all e intro...everything about cgh e many years said in one day, the many ppl in charge who who.....my mind is ya ya.....one ear in n the other out....cos its really too much to remember.....i still need to fill up dunno wat form later....i have no idea wat to write.....sucks..... tml own clothes formal attire....

ended work.....wat i wanted e most was just a good cuppa coffee....treat myself abit better..... after all tat stupid things.... went to starbucks with my boy.... he said quite alot of stuff about me going there n stuff.... maybe to him its a waste of money.....but tats wat i really like somehow.... as i used to say ~coffee is my fren~ i cannot imagine if i try to buy one coffee machine.....he will scold me ba.....i seriously thought of getting one....lol..... but nah.....lazy....hahaha.....i think he would be overjoyed to know i wont waste this kinda money on this.....my coffee pal yue ning....lol....used to remember nescafe(typo?) kopi can in e morning and during exams coffee at the food court in nyp..... fun la.....

i dun wanna type le.....good night

oh yea.....weird comment

2007-06-29T09:58:00.000-07:00

oh yea.....kelvin reads n knows my this blog.....i let him use my account.... so.....if u see any funny comment like the previous blog i comment myself de.....90% is him liao.....so dun be alarmed.....hahaaha...ya....i know u reading this dear.....ya.... dun post junk.....cos i can delete hor....

wisdom tooth

2007-06-29T07:53:00.000-07:00

my guy just pluck 4 of his wisdom tooth on thurs.....me and his mum accompanied him there all the way.....horrible just horrible.....saw him bite e gauze out of the operating theatre like vampire... the gauze just soaked with 2 lines down out at the side of his mouth.....talking about his op....my guy was quite an oddball.....he came out with his eyes wide open after being given double dose of GA.... he was saying his alertness is super high....will wake up very fast? or somewat tat..... til the point he had 2 doses of gas? and his eyes was still open in the OT until the nurse had to ask him to sleep and rest.....den he rested....he woke up when they were stitching up the last wound....but he didnt feel anything...

i think the person feelings before the op(example: being relaxed).... would affect alot of things......ur healing....e anathesia....the condition of the mind really affects alot of stuff..... life example....cos my boy boy....he wanna start high alert...which is definitely not relaxed...had i think....slightly more bleeding than others i guess.....and the anathesia part also.... but this i cannot say is all due to the brain....cos...his tooth was quite fully formed....very big....hahaha.....deeper.... i think i also saw a young doctor....dunno is it....due to inexperience ppl doing the op....

sorry to gen gen....really sorry for not coming on ur b'day.... didnt know where n when u all celebrate n i guess u all did..... sorry.....really busy with my guy.....never notice my phone at all from noon til night.... =p

today was a sian day ba.... dunno y got this headache....n maybe i expected abit too much from a very sick person....lol.....poor guy..... he so sick still need to tolerate me.... i didnt expect a few tooth to end up even to distanting himself from holding my hand or a hug......saded.... he say sticky n i very hot....he dun like.... ppl sure get irritated easily when sick..... =( its like all connected isnt it? one little mosquito bite at the foot of sole.....also not in good mood for the whole day lol.... especially if u r walking....outside....

just chat to gen on msn.....heard u all went to sakura to eat.....so good....haha.....recently i like on diet..... eat porridge....lol..... quite healthy la.... abit of fish, bread n sushi.....not alot....oh ya.....and one chicken wing =D....thanks to kelvin's mum.....really nice mother....bought the extra food for me other than porridge.....

tml....maybe go fishing???? dunno kelvin got energy or not....i also dunno i got energy ma....early in the morning somemore..... anyway tat is to think for tml.....hahaha.....

good night ppl.....

change of blogskin

2007-06-26T09:10:00.000-07:00

pai seh....i really tried for like i think 2 hours? i still cannot figure out wat is the problem.....cant change the blogskin man.....fed up.....shall try again some other day

I GOT THE JOB!!!

2007-06-26T07:53:00.000-07:00

WHOO HOO!!!! Got thru the interview.....i signed the contract, got the changi uniform and did the medical checkup today.....the HR called me this morning b4 i could call her.....lol...i was still in my dreams.....anyway....she asked they were keen to offer me the job and if i will accept..... and AS USUAL the HR requested/asked me to pass her 2 colour photos and bring bank book to her to photocopy.....''TODAY'' didnt know that with passing her tat ''few stuff'' included the signing of contract, trying of uniform and medical checkup -_-''' she only mentioned about passing of things.....yuck.....

oh yea.....i will be starting the job on 2july same as sponsered students....start training first til 30july den officially go into our dept to work... i most probably will go into OT =] at least tats wat e HR says....hee.... my first choice.... hope can....lala~

my parents sure know how to suck blood though.....once they know i got the job open mouth n say....$200-$300 minimum and start asking wat date my pay come in.....so clever~..... never see them so concern about me in other things though.....

need to go buy white shoe for the changi uniform....and the HR said they are going to have new cream colour uniform next year n will match with black shoe.... WTH? tat means my this white shoe im going to buy, i will wear for 6 months plus den dun need le.....-_-''' waste my money.....

now abit sleepy to type...my eyes.....just half shut.....but i have many things to do still....drowsy....i think i give up here.... can continue some other day....abit cannot take it liao.....

interview at changi hospital

2007-06-19T23:53:00.000-07:00

my interview at changi hospital went ok on friday....haha....i almost had a panic attack like 30mins b4 the interview.....i was changing and ironing another shirt last min n decided later tat e original one looked better.....panicked to keep my hair glued down like a nerd.....taking so many of those black pins....took a cab there lol.... she asked a few questions....somewat like chit chat and like....u working currently? wat u liek to do? wat is e five rights? what do you think a good nurse comprises? y u wanna go OT? seemed like they would hire me....e sister doing the interview said the HR dept would call me within 2 weeks....and i got their miss call like today(mon)...oops....and my phone was dead since like this morning....so i only knew they called at 12midnight when i reached home to charge my phone to listen the voicemail they left me =p

the HR dept person asked me to call back.....i guess i have to call back in the morning.... i hope is good news....*crosses fingers*

im now like rushing on hanakimi....almost finished it watching it within a day....but at night i went to find kelvin=p.....haha......later try to finish it up.....so tired now...dunno how i am going to finish watching now....its like 12.54am now.....

good morning ppl.....hee.... HAHA

new bloggy

2007-06-17T05:31:00.000-07:00

a new blog, a new beginning..... but im still missy panda.... well.... its nice to start afresh and to leave e past behind..... in a representative kinda way..... going start at work soon.... new environment.... everything is going to be so different.....aiming to be a better new and improved person 0_0(and yes...i meant try to change for e better) erm...i'll learn to change this blog to a nicer skin in a few days..... hee....cos i wan this to be a nice one.....kinda plan to keep this for a long term.....

Happy Father's Day btw to u all......